Intolerance of Marriage Relations between Husband and Wife (Psychological Case Study of Marital Rape)

A harmonious marriage is based on the feeling of death, love, and appreciation between the husband and wife. A positive understanding of marital relationships makes household life harmonious by understanding the rights and obligations. Otherwise, if not the reward of rights and obligations will lead to compulsion and threats, and rape in the relationship of husband and wife. Women are thus harmed and victims and have an impact on long and short-term trauma. This study explains the psychological effects that occur due to low self-esteem, worthless and fluctuating emotions, and physical trauma. The method is done with a psychological examination to what extent and as deep as psychic victims of marital rape are interrupted and stages of intervention are performed according to the severity of the weight of the trauma. In conclusion, Marital Rape's husband is a strong driver of a woman experiencing social, psychological, and severe disorders. Advice needs guidance in advance before marriage regarding the rights and obligations of couples and the opening of a counseling center for couples without the burden of shame or pressure from the husband.

A harmonious marriage is based on the feeling of death, love, and appreciation between the husband and wife. A positive understanding of marital relationships makes household life harmonious by understanding the rights and obligations. otherwise, if not the reward of rights and obligations will lead to compulsion and threats, and rape in the relationship of husband and wife. Women are thus harmed and victims and have an impact on long and short-term trauma. This study explains the psychological effects that occur due to low selfesteem, worthless and fluctuating emotions, and physical trauma. The method is done with a psychological examination to what extent and as deep as psychic victims of marital rape are interrupted and stages of intervention are performed according to the severity of the weight of the trauma. In conclusion, Marital Rape's husband is a strong driver of a woman experiencing social, psychological, and severe disorders. Advice needs guidance in advance before marriage regarding the rights and obligations of couples and the opening of a counseling center for couples without the burden of shame or pressure from the husband.

INTRODUCTION
forum in channeling the sexual desires of every human being as well as an effort to save and secure the genitals from various sexual deviations which in turn damage the reproductive function. (Samsudin, 2010).
But not infrequently, we hear about sexual intolerance committed by husbands towards their wives because they do not give obligations according to the husband's rights, namely intercourse where the husband forces his wife who is sick or during childbirth to have intercourse. This becomes traumatic for the wife when she is about to have intercourse again. Not only physically but psychologically, where the wife's distrust of her husband or the fear that the wife faces makes the marriage relationship no longer sincere and sacred but instead full of stress and trauma to the wife. According to Blake (2007) states that in general the notion of intolerance is an attitude of disregard or indifference to the existence of other people, as a husband treats his wife by not caring about the rights of a wife. The coercion faced by the wife becomes a form of rape causing only the husband to enjoy it while the wife is hurt. The lack of communication and mutual respect for one another is an indicator of disharmony/intolerance in marital relations and the emergence of domestic violence. Intolerance in KBBI has the meaning of being intolerant and not respecting, not respecting one of the parties. This can arise in domestic life, where violence that occurs in the household against women becomes dangerous because women of all ages easily become targets of forms of violence such as beatings, coercion, rape, and other forms of sexual and mental assault and which are perpetuated in traditional attitudes. UI women's and gender studies, Women's Human Rights: Legal Instruments for Realizing Gender Justice, p: 55). This condition places women at risk of violence and coercion, which in essence in the marital relationship the wife is not to satisfy sexual desires and is not limited to sex. But the husband must be close, close physically, psychologically and emotionally. The husband's sympathy and tolerance can grow the seeds of love. Not only that, mutual respect and understanding are the main pillars in the husband and wife relationship so that a sense of respect for one another arises.

THEORETICAL REVIEW
Based on the results of a survey conducted by BPS in the last 4 years between 2016 -2019 there were 259,150 cases of domestic violence committed by husbands against wives where the victims received physical beatings both on the body and face. According to information from the Director of Social Security Statistics at BPS, Thoman Pardosi, said that domestic violence in the form of physical violence, where Sumia beat her minila's wife for one reason, still occurred, which was quite high at 25.86%. This data is based on confirmation from Komnas PPPA with the title Development of Family Resilience. While the data in the capital which approves of beatings is 21.65% and in the villages it is higher by 30.04%. However, there are also those who do not justify beating women for all reasons as much as 74.14%. This shows that currently there is tradition and gender inequality in households where there is dominance in one and a lack of understanding of harmonious households. In addition, an understanding of the role in the household which only highlights one party as fully responsible makes the husband act arbitrarily including by means of violence.
In the elucidation of the Law of the Republic of Indonesia Number 12 of 2022 concerning Criminal Acts of Sexual Violence (TPKS Law), it states that sexual violence is a violation of human rights, a crime against human dignity, and a form of discrimination that must be abolished. Sexual violence is increasingly prevalent in society which has an extraordinary impact on victims. This has an impact on physical, mental, health, economic and social suffering to politics. The impact of sexual violence is also very lifelike for victims. The impact of sexual violence is even stronger when the victim is part of a community that is marginalized economically, socially and politically, or those with special needs, such as children and people with disabilities. The National Commission on Violence Against Women in March 2023, in the Fact Sheet contained in the National Commission on Violence against Women for 2023, it was noted that there were 622 cases (30%) of violence against wives from 2098 complaints to Komnas Perempuan with cases of violence in the personal sphere. Where the most common form of violence in the personal domain category is psychological violence. Apart from that, still from the same source, there were 3205 cases handled by service institutions experiencing violence against wives where the most frequent form of violence was physical violence.
Violence experienced by women or wives is not only physical but also verbal with language and yelling is a condition of Marital Rape committed by husbands to wives (Darmawan, 2014). Where negative language that is conveyed repeatedly to the wife makes the wife mentally and psychologically weak. The wife is worthless and mentally weak which has an impact on the wife's negative self-concept. According to Dzuhayatin (2012) states that one indicator of Marital Rape is coercive intercourse, intercourse with verbal threats, intercourse by following one's own tastes without the victim's approval, intercourse with illegal drugs or reinforcing drugs, causing the wife to experience pressure and can't take action. This pressure makes women confused, entangled and do not know what to do other than cry. Not only that, the high pressure faced by women and their inability to seek protection causes stress and creates psychiatric disorders that impact on the growth and development of children.
Psychologically, marital rape causes prolonged disappointment or fear and trauma to have sex. This impact is not only short-term, namely a few days after the incident with indications of emotional disturbances, they often get angry, feel guilty and humiliated (Aishah in Marlia, 2017). Meanwhile, behavior is characterized by difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite and self-closure. The long-term impact is accompanied by negative perceptions about the husband, sex and the trauma he endures. The mental wounds suffered can enter reasonable and abnormal limits. In fact, if this happens repeatedly, usually the wife's character will change by appearing insecure, always blaming herself and feeling inadequate and making her husband angry/crazy, having reproductive disorders (menstrual cycle) due to the heavy pressure she is facing (Hayati, 2010).
A wife who experiences this condition survives because the decision is not to think of herself but of the children and extended family because of the construction which states that the wife is the protector, the mentor of the children and the supporter of the husband. However, if the husband is insensitive and tends to give a negative stigma to his wife, it will damage the household order that was built at the beginning where there was mutual respect and tolerance for one another. Marriage is East Asian Journal of Multidisciplinary Research (EAJMR) Vol.2, No.5 2023: 2111-2122 2115 not an escape and validation that violence becomes permissible because it is bound in one marriage.
So far, the wider community understands violence as limited to acts of behavior that are rude, violent, and ruthless, on the other hand, behavior that suppresses and oppresses psychologically is not considered violence. While the act of Marital rape is an act of violence that is carried out physically and psychologically and has a large psychological impact on the victim. Linda E Ledray (in Sulistyaningsih and Faturchman, 2002) in her research on the depiction of suffering experienced by female victims of rape by men who were studied in the Americas after rape. The results stated that 96% experienced dizziness; 68% experienced severe muscle spasms. While in the post-rape period, 96% experienced anxiety; 96% psychological fatigue; 88% were restless; 88% are threatened and 80% felt terrorized by the situation.
In fact, in relation to marriage, the wife is not only an object but also a subject. The relationship between husband and wife in marriage is not limited to satisfying biological needs. However, husband and wife draw closer and familiarize themselves so that they cannot understand each other more and more.
This paper aims to provide information on the meaning of a harmonious marriage relationship, mutual care, and mutual tolerance between husband and wife.
By prioritizing the psychological perspective of Marital Rape, it can provide an overview of the positive interaction between husband and wife, and explain that marriage is not limited to the distribution and release of sexual relations but has more essence than that. The essence of marriage is to glue and unite two individuals who have different backgrounds both from family, region, area, and concept of mind and tradition to be united in a marriage bond with rights and obligations that must be understood by husband and wife. It is hoped that husband and wife can create a psychologically and mentally positive household atmosphere so that they can have a positive impact on living a household ark between husband and wife and children.

METHODOLOGY
This article uses a narrative description method by focusing on qualitative studies which in this study describe the potential and psychological impact of wives who face cases of Marital Rape based on the experiences faced by women with husbands who are intolerant in the marriage relationship. In this study, the classification of the respondents was as follows, including the Marital Rape case which had been handled by a counselor with a marriage age of more than five years and a social status below the poverty standard. In addition, he has conducted counseling and assistance at P2TPA in the ABC region, Indonesia, and received intervention from a psychologist. Able to control oneself emotionally and cognitively so that it is easy to ask questions and answers from researchers.
The number of respondents obtained is 10 people with characters according to the specified conditions. The data collection carried out in this case analysis method is to do the following: 1. Interview the respondent with prepared questions in the form of causes, changes in the husband's attitude, the psychological and physical impact on the respondent, the long period of time the husband's actions against his wife have become intolerant of the wife, and what things the husband has taken away in the form of rights wife. 2. Literature studies and supports in the form of theory and other supporting information because, from a psychological impact point of view, there is still very little literacy information obtained. This is because the wife's level of awareness has not yet developed when facing physical and verbal pressure from her husband to report this to the authorities and the social services that deal with this.

RESULTS
The results of observations, interviews and literacy studies conducted on wives who experience marital rape experience high pressure due to intolerance by husbands in marriage. Husbands who are less willing to listen, respond and communicate in the household cause pressure on the wife. Even though the essence of a marriage that is more meaningful, not just a sexual relationship, has not been interpreted positively. This results in the feeling of shame and helplessness on the part of the wife causing her inability to report the condition to other people, both siblings and the National Commission for the Protection of Children and Women or even the Ministry of Religion which legalizes marriage.
Coupled with the norms and rules he adheres to not telling other people about his family's disgrace, this creates a special pressure on his wife. Intensive assertive communication approaches, listening to complaints can generate warmth so that information about the feelings and impact of the trauma experienced can be explored in depth.
Arbitrary use of power is made possible because of situations formed in households where the domination of one over the other is so strong due to several factors as explained later. This domination will continue as long as the level of dependence on the dominant party and domination remains high (according to Mohtar Mas'oed in Syakur, et al, 2023). Based on the results of interviews and data from interventions from psychologists and counselors, there are similarities between each wife, including: 1. Economic factors and limited cognitive abilities between husband and wife in expressing feelings and thoughts in the problem solving process become obstacles for them in communicating or explaining a problem. Husbands tend to abuse physically and verbally while wives are more accepting and passive. 2. The husband who tends to be dominant and the wife who is weak without being able to defend herself is a supporting factor for the wife's mental decline in dealing with existing problems. 3. There is an abuse of religious understanding where when the wife tries to defend herself, the husband considers it a sin because she has violated the husband's orders and disobeys the husband which ultimately has an impact on the wife's inability to say no. 4. There is a child factor that is still small and requires the attention of a mother when the wife files for divorce against her husband. 5. The emergence of the form of manipulation of a husband towards his wife causes what the husband does to be right even though violence against women in the eyes of religion is not justified. It is the existence of these factors that influence a wife to act which in the end accepts what is the action of a husband toward his wife. Rape in the household does not only affect the wife but also the emotional development of the wife and children. This not only has an impact on the psychology but also on sexual relations so that there is an inability of a wife to enjoy so the wife is limited to carrying out her duties and functions as a wife in serving the biological needs of her husband. This is because there is no agreement with each other in all matters where all aspects make the husband a decision maker (Arini, 2023).
The research process was not limited to gathering information but also providing interventions for victims of marital rape, in this case the wife. The intervention was in the form of listening to her complaints and feelings of guilt and her inability to deal with household life. In addition, the psychological impact that arises is a feeling of inferiority and feelings of being looked down on by other people which makes it difficult to meet other people/neighbors face to face. Therefore, providing reinforcement, listening to all complaints and strengthening one's self-esteem is the initial capital in providing intervention prior to psychotherapy or other forms of dealing with trauma. Mothers are given reinforcement from a mental and religious perspective that a wife may say no when her husband is abusive as a form of self-defense, not surrendering to her husband's arbitrary treatment. Providing an improvement in the concept from the point of view that the husband is allowed to act violently to obtain the right to have intercourse. Except if the husband has a sexual disorder in the form of a sadomasochist where the husband will act violently to get sexual satisfaction.
Therefore, in domestic relations, the wife is not only used as an object but as a subject. The relationship between husband and wife in marriage is not just satisfying biological needs but involves social and psychological aspects.

DISCUSSION
In the initial intervention, the presence of trauma and psychological impact on the mother was found which affected the household. In accordance with the results of the study in the previous sub which stated that the existence of domestic violence against wives had a big impact which caused a decrease in the wife's positive mentality and a woman felt unappreciated in all respects. These impacts are in accordance with the explanation from Sulistyaningsih and Faturochman (2002) which states that there are psychological and social impacts on a wife. Where the psychological impact that often arises is: 1. There is high anxiety about various situations and feel unable to deal with various pressures from the environment 2. There is prolonged stress during the process of pressure and domestic violence such as shame, anger and helplessness, fear, and guilt even though he has not taken any action that is deemed wrong by the environment. 3. There is continuous tension that causes traumatic and psychological fatigue, causing difficulty sleeping, and uncontrolled emotions, and often the child becomes the target of anger and helplessness 4. Loss of concentration on one job or activity due to high pressure and trauma to the partner. 5. Sexuality that is less passionate so that it is limited to carrying out functions as a wife and partner. While the social impact experienced by a wife who is under pressure and marital rape (Hayati, 2010), behavioral symptoms will appear as follows: 1. Feelings of worry and discomfort when having intercourse with husband 2. There are muscle spasms in certain parts that cause pain in the wife's limbs due to coercion in intercourse 3. Unwanted pregnancy 4. The presence of severe trauma such as depression, self-pity, feelings of uselessness, guilt and so on which causes disruption of social relations with the environment. 5. There is news from the mass media that tends to corner the victims, namely women or wives where journalists use denotative language in describing the sequence of situations, causing the victim's position in the eyes of society to become weaker (Abar & Subardjono, 1998in Manan 2008. The existence of two psychological and social impacts will cause heavy casualties in the eyes of society to move forward, rise and develop. In addition, there is a misperception and lack of understanding which states that a wife must "obey" and obey her husband. Especially in a patriarchal culture where the husband is the dominating and controlling party in the household. This is in line with the case at hand, namely the husband's intolerance towards his wife where the husband will use the ways he likes to treat his wife. With a low understanding of the verse, the husband's rape behavior against his wife appears, both verbally and non-verbally. The existence of this research confirms that there is an attitude of intolerance from husbands towards wives that still needs to be followed up in prevention and appropriate interventions both premarital and post-marital. That way, the household ties that are built by both parties can respect each other and awaken the mawadah warrahmah attitude that is expected of every husband and wife.

CONCLUSIONS
Intolerance in marriage by husbands towards wives causes a fairly high psychological impact. Intolerance by husbands is coercion and threats to wives not only during intercourse but also in interactions within marriage. The attitude of intolerance that is carried out is not communicating, imposing and not listening to or ignoring the condition of the wife causing psychological pressure on the wife. This condition is known as Marital Rape which is carried out by husbands against women due to a lack of understanding of the elements and essence of marriage. Feelings of trauma that arise can affect the psychological function, and emotional and physical control of a woman so it requires reinforcement from the authorities. It takes time to improve a woman's psychological condition due to distrust of the environment. Coupled with the ignorance of the husband and wife in interpreting each existing verse misunderstandings often occur. Therefore, understanding and knowledge about marriage is the main thing to treat women as well as possible.

RECOMMENDATIONS
It is hoped that there will be pre-marital guidance and a comprehensive explanation for each prospective husband and wife on how to treat a wife in a sacred marriage. Therefore, with limited understanding, it is necessary to have some form of intervention from the authorities to explain the position, rights, and obligations of a husband to his wife and a wife to her husband. Not only that, it is necessary to be more open about counseling centers or information about Marital Rape so that women can anticipate and make themselves meaningful in the counseling session process. This journal can be used as further research to develop forms of academic and non-academic activities interested in reducing the Marital Rape rate in Indonesia.

FURTHER STUDY
Need continuation after this article with the same variables or with other variables and objects to be used.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT
In this research which is not easy, the researchers express their deepest gratitude to the P2TPA service which has provided the opportunity for researchers to conduct studies on household cases that have become a phenomenon for women. The researcher also thanks the deepest for the breadth and courage of the respondents in describing and sharing their valuable experiences so that this research can be completed properly. A life that is truly extraordinary makes researchers learn a lot from respondents about how to struggle to rise from adversity by having a purpose in life. The laughter and jokes that were in this research activity became a meaningful impression on researchers during the research process. Hopefully, this research will be an addition to the information for the wider community.